


Hate Sex is Great Sex

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [88]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bondage, Consent Issues, Crack, Derek is a Failwolf, Drabble, Humor, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Past Abuse, Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1546883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has poor decision making skills.  Chris is OK with that.</p><p>Reaction Fic For Letharia Vulpina</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate Sex is Great Sex

  
**Chris:**  You know, I’ve killed a fair few people in my day. And odds are some of them were innocent.

**Derek:**  Um. Ok?

**Chris:**  I’m just saying. I’m basically a serial killer.

**Derek:**  Could you maybe wait till you’ve taken all the glass out of my back to tell me how you’re going to kill me?

**Chris:**  Sure. Some of it got pretty low on your back though. Mind scooting down your pants a bit?

**Derek:**  Sure?

**Chris:**  A bit more…

**Derek:**  I don’t think-

**Chris:**  Actually, best just take them off.

**Derek:**  I really don’t think that’s necessary.

**Chris:**  How ‘bout this. If it will make you more comfortable, I’ll take off my clothes too.

**Chris:**  What?

**Chris:**  There. Isn’t that better?

**Derek:**  Not really. Now what’s this about you being a serial killer?

**Chris:**  Oh! Yeah! I’m a serial killer. I’ve done questionable things. We should make out. Probably have angry, athletic sex.

**Derek:**  I don’t follow.

**Chris:**  Isn’t that your type? Serial killers who try to kill you? I mean, I have  _definitely_  tried to kill you before, so…

**Derek:**  Yeah. That’s not a thing I do on purpose.

**Chris:**  Really? Wow. You must just have really bad decision making skills, then.

**Derek:**  Yup. But hey, if you wanna make out, I’d be down for that.

**Chris:**  Yeah! Remind me never to complain about those decision making skills again!

**Derek:**  Oh. But how do you feel about also keeping Stiles tied up in the bedroom? Just to keep him from hurting people, you understand.

**Chris:**  Fine. But we’re allowed to use him as a sex toy, right?

**Derek:**  Oh. Duh. The terms are all written up here in our mate-werewolf-soul-knotting-things-for-life contract. See? ‘In the event that the party of the first part shall be possessed by a dark or malicious force, the party of the second part has permission to tie the party of the first part up in the bedroom and use said party as a sex toy in any and all creative ways necessary to contain the evil spirit. Nipple clamps recommended but not obligatory.’

**Chris:**  That is a very thorough contract.

**Derek:**  Well, we are mate-werewolf-soul-knotting-things for life, regardless of how much shared screen time we may or may not have, so…

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


End file.
